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Any Guided Imagery for Poor Relationships at Work?

27 Feb

Question:

Belleruth, first, I have used your visualizations for 12 years and I got through major severe depression with you. Thank you!

I am Puerto Rican and my therapist then introduced me to your wonderful, blessed, special work. I want to be like you when I grow up!  Hahahaha!

I am a likable, sweet, social person, who is loved by her family and friends, but I seem to not be favored in the work environment.

As much as I wish to be a strong team worker, I struggle so much. And I honestly do my very best to be accepted and supported by coworkers, with not a lot of success. I really do not know what I am doing wrong.

I am a science teacher, love my students, love my work, but just never seem to click wherever I work. It is very frustrating.

What visualization would you recommend? Thank you!

Rosa

Answer:

Dear Rosa,
I don’t get it.  Something doesn’t add up here, and my guess is that what you need, more than a guided imagery audio, is some straightforward feedback from some of your more astute, honest-but-tactful, observant peers at work, who can tell you about the things you’re inadvertently doing that get you into the soup - things you can change.

Have you gotten any specific complaints or have you heard snarky remarks that add up to a theme here?  For instance, when you say you struggle to be a team player – what does that mean, exactly?  

In many instances, this can be about having trouble sharing the limelight, credit or glory; or maybe doing things to garner favor with the boss at the expense of your co-workers; or it could entail a general approach of serious sucking up to authority, regardless of how worthy; or it could be about shirking your share of the workload … because it tends to be behaviors like that which get people in trouble with peers at work, especially when they do well with friends and family outside of work.

So, Rosa, are you referring to any of that sort of thing?  If you kind of know what you’re doing that gets you into trouble with your colleagues, but the drive is so strong, can’t seem to change it on your own, then some counseling could be just the ticket. (This is the sort of issue that group therapy was made for, because whether you want to or not, you’ll end up acting this stuff out in the group, where it can be pointed out in a protected, therapeutic way, right as it’s happening.) 

The only other possibility would that you’ve been stuck, time and again, with an unsavory bunch of anti-Puerto Rican yahoos, who discriminate against you because you’re not like them.  But you don’t seem to be thinking that, so I’m sticking with your story.

Bottom line: I’m not sure that this is something guided imagery can fix. But to answer your actual question, of all our titles, probably the Self-Confidence guided imagery applies best to your issue.
Best of luck to you with this.
Belleruth

Belleruth Naparstek

Psychotherapist, author and guided imagery pioneer Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series. Her latest book on imagery and posttraumatic stress, Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal (Bantam Dell), won the Spirituality & Health Top 50 Books Award