Good for you for (1) knowing yourself well enough to notice these reactions you’ve been having and for (2) caring enough about yourself and your own welfare to reach out for some answers!
The first thing I want to say is, don’t underestimate the power of that car accident – especially because you’re a teenager and therefore cranking out bucket loads o’ hormones anyway, and therefore extra-vulnerable to the biochemical cascade that follows a traumatizing event. With most people, this results in weeks of wide, biochemical swings, back and forth, from being very adrenergized and hypervigilant (which usually means being cranky, anxious, agitated and angry, sometimes for no apparent reason) to being overly sedated with the body’s own endogenous opioids (leaving you feeling numb, out of it, emotionally flat, disconnected and isolated). It’s the body’s way of trying to get back into balance, after that initial massive flooding.
For most people it takes weeks or, even more likely, months for this balance to come back and restabilize. And if you’ve had other traumatic events like this happen to you before, it can take even longer, because your nervous system is extra irritated and sensitive.
Of course, it didn’t help that your girlfriend left during this extra-vulnerable time (although it wouldn’t be the first time – jumpy, out-of-sorts, traumatized people aren’t always the easiest folks to be around, whether that’s from a car accident, combat, a hurricane or a mugging! It just comes with the territory. And if neither one of you understand what’s happening, it’s easy enough to take it all very personally.)
So the first thing I’d say is, expect this to be temporary – it’s very likely that it is. Second, I’d start working with some relaxation and self-regulation audio resources. Regular practice with guided imagery, breathwork, hypnosis, mindfulness meditation, yoga or chi gung will help you put your irritated neuronal network on ‘manual’ where you can downshift it yourself. This will hasten the body’s rebalancing process.
You may also want to try Mary Sise’s trauma-reducing, acu-point tapping video (Thought Field Therapy for Stress Management & Peak Performance) as well, to give you a protocol you can use whenever you feel your biochemistry is acting up beyond what you can negotiate. It’s just another really good tool.
Either way, you’ll be relieved to know that, even though these tools will help you get through this better and faster, and will provide you with tools that will buttress your internal strength and resilience for a lifetime, you’d very likely get better anyway, even if you did nothing.
Best of luck to you and, if you think of it, drop an email in a few months and let me know how you’re doing.