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What to Do for Fear of Pregnancy & Miscarriage

14 Sep

Question:
"My niece is having lots of fears about becoming pregnant. Is there one or any of your cd's that I can obtain for her that may help ease her mind?  She's had a couple of miscarriages, but is physically fine to get pregnant. She's just got so many scary thoughts about pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood."

"My nephew wants a child, but can't get thru to her to calm down and just do it.  I've loved you for 15 years, Belleruth. Found you after the death of my first husband at age 30. The Grief CD was on for me many times a day. It was a life saver!  I've turned people on to you many, many times. Wanted to go to your Connecticut conference last fall, but couldn't.  :( "

Penny


Dear Penny,
Thanks for the kind words about the Grief imagery.  I’m very glad it helped.

As for your niece, two miscarriages in a row is pretty brutal.  One is devastating enough, and two in a row had to have geometrically increased her fear that this could happen again.  I can see why she’d be reluctant to try again.  So please do what you can to keep your nephew and others from telling her to “calm down and just do it” -  easy for them to say!  Minimizing her feelings will get nowhere, and is likely to create a lot of additional pain for her. 

So I would be careful not to push her.  Let her grieve her losses and take the time she needs to heal before trying again – if that’s what she wants to do.  Part of her fear could be the unfinished grief that still needs time.  Even if her biological clock is ticking away, you’ve got to step back. 

She may be so traumatized, gun-shy and/or phobic that she could use some help from a smart, neutral therapist to get her past this… or to help her decide if she wants to try again.

That said, and just to answer your question, the imagery to help her would be the Help with Fertility and the Healthy Pregnancy  CDs. The first meditation of the Fertility CD is imagery that follows the inner workings of the body (and the psyche) from conception to gestation to parenting, providing a sense of protection and support from a cheering section of all the generations of women who've brought her to this moment. There is also a grief meditation in there for lost pregnancies.  The Pregnancy imagery is also very reassuring, reminding her that her body has some built-in knowing of how to do this.  I'd go with one or both of those, but probably the fertility first.

If you feel that she really is getting phobic about this, she may benefit from Mary Sise’s DVD, Thought Field Therapy for Stress Management & Peak Performance.  The guided exercises on that video can be a great help with phobias of any kind. 

Best of luck with this and let me know how it goes.  And thanks again for the generous feedback. 

All best,
BR
 

Belleruth Naparstek

Psychotherapist, author and guided imagery pioneer Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series. Her latest book on imagery and posttraumatic stress, Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal (Bantam Dell), won the Spirituality & Health Top 50 Books Award