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Woman left by husband of 28 years finds new peace, courage and self appreciation

27 Oct
Thanks to mindfulness practice and a good therapist, a broken-hearted and terrified woman, recently left by her husband of 28 years, finds new peace, courage and appreciation of herself…
My husband stunned me by leaving our marriage of 28 years, for a woman barely older than our daughter. I was devastated, having built my whole life and identity around him. I had helped him get his degree, and become the professional success he now was. At first I desperately tried to get him to stay with me and work it out. I was on a roller coaster of extremely intense and distressing feelings.

At my daughter’s insistence, I went to a therapist, who helped me to see it was really over and to start dealing with that hard, cold fact. She was warm and empathic, but tough and reality-focused too. Exactly what I needed! I railed and cried and lived through the terror and hurt of betrayal.

One of the things I learned was that I needed to get back to my core, my self as ME, not my husband’s wife (soon to be ex-wife!). I know it sounds trite, but I needed to get to know myself again.

One of the practices my therapist introduced me to was mindfulness meditation. This is the process of sitting with myself and watching my own thoughts, feelings and sensations. It had an amazing effect. It gave me great courage, and the capacity to be interested in ME again. It became an internal adventure each time. It went from being a difficult exercise to get myself to do, to something I looked forward to doing each morning and evening. This intimate time spent with myself was exactly what I needed. It calmed me down and brought me peaceful energy.

I am on the road to, not just recovery, but rediscovery of myself. Some days I wake up frightened, but just as many I wake up exhilarated. Wherever this is headed, it’s good. I know I’ll be all right. I bless my therapist and the wonderful practice of mindfulness every day, and I would encourage your readers to try it too!

Joan L.
Belleruth Naparstek

Psychotherapist, author and guided imagery pioneer Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series. Her latest book on imagery and posttraumatic stress, Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal (Bantam Dell), won the Spirituality & Health Top 50 Books Award