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19 May

I’m not sure you could call this video clip from the Ellen DeGeneres Show inspiring, but it’s pretty hilarious.  This little 3-yr-old is making the case to his mom to let him have a cupcake. The substance of his argument is that Grandma lets him have them.
 
He’s buttressing his ask with a dazzling display of swagger.  I’d love to meet the person who’s been modeling this behavior for the little dude.  Or maybe not...
 
In any case, it’s wildly comic to see this behavior in a little squeezer, but this mom, who’s sort of holding her own here, may need a team of parenting coaches in the future, just to stay a half-step ahead of her little litigator as he gets older.
 
Seriously, if you do nothing else today, check this out - guaranteed comic relief.

18 May

Ms. Naparstek,
 
My name is Janie.  My 6-year-old daughter is currently being seen by clinical psychologist.  My daughter has been diagnosed with social anxiety and possible ADHD [attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder].  These things bring out some negative behaviors on a daily basis that can be very stressful for me to experience.  My therapist thought that some of your audio imagery might be very useful to me.
 
As a full-time mom I am with my daughter most of the time. Therefore the stress can be prolonged on bad days.  I have tried psychotherapy to help cope with feelings of impatience, frustration, and sometimes anger.  The psychotherapy helped up to a point. Then I took up yoga and found it also helped, particularly the attention to breathing techniques.  I love yoga but cannot often attend.
   
I viewed your CD selections on healthjourneys.com and was unsure which to begin with.  Basically I am seeking help to cope with the frustration and stress that I experience before they build up into anger, yelling, and so on.  I adore my daughter, and naturally I want to not only restrain myself from getting angry and yelling at her, but also to be a good role model.

To add to my situation, I am peri-menopausal, so my roller-coaster hormones are a complicating factor.  Even on a low-dose contraceptive pill to regulate moods, I find my moods varying, based on where I am in my monthly cycle.  This often makes it more difficult to remain calm in the face of highly negative behaviors when they occur.
   
Is there a particular CD that you recommend I begin with?

Thank you in advance for your help.  I am ready to dive in.

Sincerely,

Janie D.

04 May

Question:

Belleruth,

I just finished reading your book on intuition and I feel like you were talking to me personally.  I relate to everything you describe.  I am a 42 year old empath, who has been psychic all my life.  I am blessed that my gift guides me in everything I do.

My question has to do with a deep knowing that a man at work is meant for me. I knew from the first time I saw him that he was my true soul mate, but he is very shy.  He doesn’t respond to our connection.  I believe his shyness keeps him at a distance.

How do I share this knowledge with him and allow him to see what I see? You talk in the book about how and when to share psychic information with others, but not regarding this situation.  I would appreciate your advice.
 
Oleanna K.

15 Apr

Question:

Dear BR,

I feel the opposite of the person who avoids rejection by avoiding people. I think I'm TOO outgoing and turn off people by being too in the middle of everything. How can I balance my social need with more subtle behavior? I’m in my forties.

Suzannah

27 Jan

A while back you posted a story by a corrections counselor, and this inspires me to share another story.  I, too, am a social worker who works with incarcerated youth.  They are all being tried as adults.  The jail where they are being housed has started to let one inmate listen to an imagery recording on anger and forgiveness.  He is on lockdown for fighting with another inmate who ruined his food.
 
He had only begun to listen to the audio, and maybe had heard it three times.
 
He became very angry about his situation and began pacing back and forth in his cell, trying to decide what to do.  He wanted to charge his peer when his cell door was opened.  He paced and paced, then he lay down on his bunk and continued to ruminate.  (This alone was progress, as in the past he reacted so impulsively, he would not have ever thought about his actions and consequences before acting.)

25 Nov

Dear Belleruth,

I suffered two big traumatic experiences at a very young age.  My father died when I was two, my mother when I was eight.  

My brother & I went to live with my mom's sister, my aunt & my uncle.  For the most part, it was a good experience, although she was young & having children of her own.  I quickly became the babysitter, maid, nanny, as she worked part time.  

Jealousy set in as I was in high school and was more involved in sports & school events and a boyfriend.   I married early and have a wonderful marriage and 3 great boys of my own now - the twins are seniors.

My aunt & uncle divorced about 4 years ago and my aunt wanted me to take her side.  During that time she blew up at me and one of the many harsh things she said to me was that she only raised me because "My mom didn't have enough guts to stick around & raise me herself". 

01 Jul

Question:

I attend a monthly Alzheimer's caregivers' support group meeting. We have been discussing topics like stress, frustration, etc.

I suggested our group do a guided meditation some time. I was wondering if you thought the "Ease Grief" one would be appropriate for our group (all are caregivers of spouses or a parent, most local, some long distance (I am a long-distance caregiver)).

I absolutely LOVE your guided meditation for chemo patients -- I used it religiously when I was in chemo back 2003--it really helped me. If you have another suggestion for our caregivers group, I would appreciate hearing what you have in mind.

Thanks and regards,
Lucy K.

27 May

Belleruth,

First off, thank you for your Successful Surgery series.  I downloaded the files and immediately started listening a week before surgery.  My prostate surgery was very successful (my progressive surgeon allowed my iPod in the operating room where I was able to listen and relax!) and my recovery is moving along very nicely. As far as I'm concerned, the guided imagery made all the difference!  

I’m writing because after 6 months, my 87 yr old mother-in-law is just coming to terms with the loss of her husband and best friend after almost 65 yrs of marriage.  She suffers with anxiety, nausea, and loss of appetite. 

Do you have a recommendation for which CD would be appropriate, to help her through this time of transition and realization of the profoundness of her loss?

Thank you and God bless you!

Matt

05 Feb

I recently revisited this amazing poem by Ellen Bass, co-author with Laura Davis of that landmark book for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, Courage to Heal.  All her poems are exquisite, but this one is a very special gem to me.  It comes from her book, The Human Line.

I love the particular way she combines earthy sensuality with spiritual mystery.  Her emotional depth is dizzying.  I love the idea that in all kinds of places, there’s an Ellen Bass, quietly and unobtrusively watching moments like the one recorded here - in some random airport or restaurant or public park.  

She zaps the ordinary with meaning.  And she lets us know we’re so much bigger and better than we think.

So here is Gate C22.  Enjoy.

Gate C22

At gate C22 in the Portland airport
a man in a broad-band leather hat kissed
a woman arriving from Orange County.
They kissed and kissed and kissed. Long after
the other passengers clicked the handles of their carry-ons
and wheeled briskly toward short-term parking,
the couple stood there, arms wrapped around each other
like he'd just staggered off the boat at Ellis Island,
like she'd been released at last from ICU, snapped
out of a coma, survived bone cancer, made it down
from Annapurna in only the clothes she was wearing.

Neither of them was young. His beard was gray.
She carried a few extra pounds you could imagine
her saying she had to lose. But they kissed lavish
kisses like the ocean in the early morning,
the way it gathers and swells, sucking
each rock under, swallowing it
again and again. We were all watching--
passengers waiting for the delayed flight
to San Jose, the stewardesses, the pilots,
the aproned woman icing Cinnabons, the man selling
sunglasses. We couldn't look away. We could
taste the kisses crushed in our mouths.

But the best part was his face. When he drew back
and looked at her, his smile soft with wonder, almost
as though he were a mother still open from giving birth,
as your mother must have looked at you, no matter
what happened after--if she beat you or left you or
you're lonely now--you once lay there, the vernix
not yet wiped off, and someone gazed at you
as if you were the first sunrise seen from the Earth.
The whole wing of the airport hushed,
all of us trying to slip into that woman's middle-aged body,
her plaid Bermuda shorts, sleeveless blouse, glasses,
little gold hoop earrings, tilting our heads up.



03 Dec

Belleruth,

Can you suggest a meditation or imagery for trying to decide on whether to stay in a long term marriage? I just don't know what to do at this point. Sometimes things are good, other times not.  I'm on a roller coaster. Thanks. I'm enjoying reading your books, and the imagery has certainly helped me to calm down, which is a lifesaver right now....

Corinne