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Tips & Tools to Counter Domestic Violence

28 Oct

Hello again.

With all the focus on Pink Ribbons and Breast Cancer Month, I don’t want us to lose sight of the fact that it’s also Domestic Violence Awareness Month - another real scourge that needs our attention.

You can find excellent personal safety guidelines, public advocacy suggestions and opportunities to volunteer or donate at the National Coalition against Domestic Violence website.

And if you’re in a violent or abusive relationship, please check out their safety plan – if only one or two people see this and use it, this is worth posting.  Please send this information along to anyone you think can benefit from it. 

Here it is:

If you are still in the relationship:

  • Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).

  • Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.

  • Keep change with you at all times.

  • Memorize all important numbers.

  • Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.

  • Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.

Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.

If you have left the relationship:

  • Change your phone number.

  • Screen calls.

  • Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.

  • Change locks, if the batterer has a key.

  • Avoid staying alone.

  • Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.

  • If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.

  • Vary your routine.

  • Notify school and work contacts.

  • Call a shelter for battered women.

If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.

Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2's), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)

And if you’re looking for the kind of mind-body help we have to offer, let me point you to our Domestic Violence Recovery Pack, used in many shelters, self-help support groups and even prisons.  

This might be just the tool kit to get your friend, loved one or family member off the dime and into a safer, healthier situation.  Or it can provide just the right amount of internal ballast to get someone to a live counselor, support group or shelter.

We think we’ve covered the psychological territory pretty well by including our imagery and affirmations for posttraumatic stress; depression; panic attacks; heartbreak, abandonment & betrayal; and for renewing self-confidence.  Because it’s a pack, we can lower the price from $90 to $63 in the hard copy CDs: and from $60 to $44 in the MP3 downloads.  

Please consider this as an important gift, either for an organization or for someone you’re worried about.  We’ve got an epidemic going on here, and I’m not exaggerating by saying this could save some lives.  Just watch the news if you think I’m being a drama queen here.  I’m not.  

Okay, that’s it for now.  Our new imagery for Concentration, Focus and Learning (including ADD, ADHD and LD) should be in the warehouse in another week or two, so stay tuned for that announcement.  

Take care and all best,

Belleruth Naparstek

Psychotherapist, author and guided imagery pioneer Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series. Her latest book on imagery and posttraumatic stress, Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal (Bantam Dell), won the Spirituality & Health Top 50 Books Award